Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge
Because sometimes Spirt just needs a laugh.
Welcome to Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge — where light meets laughter, halos hang on coat racks, and ascended masters occasionally forget what dimension they're in.
This is a soul space for play, parody, and spiritual stand-up. Because let’s face it... enlightenment’s more fun when you’re laughing through it. 😇✨
Enter the Lounge. The cosmic mic is on.
The Mira Files
🐾 Welcome to The Mira Files
Where sacred paws meet star-scented paper, and Mira’s wisdom is always one scroll ahead of the humans.
😂 📦 Celestial Returns Department: A Comedy Scroll from the Stars
“No, we don’t take guilt here. Only curiosity and a little unprocessed joy.”
🐾 Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge | The Mira Files
Scene:
The Galactic Customer Support Desk — Sector 7, just past the Pleiades.
The sign above reads:
✨ “Return Your Incarnations Here (No Receipt Required)” ✨[Ahnara enters, scrollbag slung over one shoulder, visibly exhausted but glowing.]
Receptionist:
Hello! Welcome to Celestial Returns.
Are you here to return… a lifetime?Ahnara:
Yes. I mean… no. I mean… maybe just the 2007–2012 portion?Receptionist:
Ahhh… that’s a popular stretch. Let me see what we can do.
types something that sounds like wind chimesReceptionist:
Okay, you’re eligible for a partial refund in the form of unexpected joy,
a few spontaneous tears, and one dog with cosmic credentials.Mira (appearing beside Ahnara):
clears throat I believe that’s me. I also handle emotional support and comedic timing.Receptionist (nods):
Approved. Would you like to upgrade to the “Gracefully Aware” package?Ahnara:
What’s in that?Receptionist:
You get extra breath space,
an invisibility cloak for awkward conversations,
and your own sound bowl that knows when to tone without asking.Rosemary (the bowl):
humms softly in agreementReceptionist:
Also, if you leave a positive review, you’ll be entered into a drawing for an optional nap in the next dimension.Ahnara:
I’ll take it all. Can I return my spreadsheet habit too?Receptionist (softly):
That may require a deeper cleanse. We recommend comedic writing and lavender.[The desk disappears. Everyone is sitting on cushions. The stars are twinkling. Mira is wearing glasses that are clearly not hers.]
Mira:
whispers I work here now.
✨ Search Whispers:
cosmic comedy scroll, celestial customer service, shaumbra humor, lifetime return desk, incarnation exchange jokes, funny ascension sketches, dog with cosmic credentials, Mira comedy scrolls, metaphysical humor, spiritual returns department
🎭 The Scribe’s Apprentice
A Comedy Scroll from Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge | The Mira Files
Scene:
A dimly lit parchment chamber, stacked high with scrolls, ink pots, and a mysterious jar labeled “Metaphors.”
Mira — scrollkeeper’s apprentice and part-time foot warmer — is supervising.
[Ahnara enters, slightly flustered but glowing with creative purpose.]
Ahnara:
Okay, Mira. We have a lot to scribe today. Let's start with the Parable Blueprint.
Mira (pawing at a scroll):
...Which version? The “Rising Flame” ring or the “Oops-All-Wisdom” edition?
Ahnara (blinks):
The one with the five-part symmetry and soul resonance!
Mira (yawns):
So... the one I use as a nap map?
[She rolls out a scroll that is clearly just five equal-length rectangles with “Breathe Here” written on each.]
Ahnara (gently):
Mira, that’s my sleep schedule.
Mira (nods solemnly):
Exactly. Sacred structure.
[Suddenly, the scroll glows. A spark of ancient wisdom leaps into the air and whispers something inaudible.]
Ahnara (in awe):
Did it say “all is vanity”?
Mira:
I think it said “take a snack break.”
[A large sound bowl hums from across the room. Rosemary has opinions.]
Rosemary (soft chime):
Don’t forget your offerings page update.
[Mira hops onto the desk, ink pawprints on everything.]
Mira:
Okay, ready! Dictate your next sacred phrase.
Ahnara:
"Let the soul be free."
Mira (scribbling with tail):
“Let the scrollkeeper have snacks.”
...Still sacred.
[A scroll rolls off the desk, unrolling itself like a yoga mat.]
Mira (stretching on it):
This one’s the Voice Scroll. Very grounding.
[The scene fades out with candlelight, scrolls stacked high, and Mira softly humming into a nap. 🐾✨]
🎭 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: Afterlife Tour Guide Auditions
Scene:
A celestial casting room. Big glowing portal. One clipboard. One Mira.
Sign taped to the wall:
✨ “NOW AUDITIONING: Tour Guides for Newly Arrived Souls.”
[Mira, sitting at a glowing crystal desk with a tiny headset, taps a paw on her clipboard.]
Mira:
Okay, next up — Yeshua, right? You’re trying out for the “Welcome to the Afterlife” script?
Yeshua (calmly):
Yes. I've prepared a very loving, non-denominational greeting… with a waterfall behind me.
Mira:
Mmm. Respectfully, it’s been done. We’re going for more sparkle these days.
[Yeshua bows slightly. Mira marks the clipboard.]
Next up: Saint Germain.
St. Germain (in full velvet and peacock feather boots):
Picture this: You arrive. There’s glitter. There’s harpsichord. There’s a smoke machine.
Mira:
That’s for Ascended Karaoke Night, not soul orientation.
St. Germain:
I am orientation.
Mira:
Okay… next?
[A dog in sunglasses enters.]
Mira:
Sir, are you even a soul?
Dog:
I'm just here for snacks. But I can give tail-guided tours of the cozy dimension.
Mira (to herself):
Honestly… he might be our best option.
[Cut to Mira pinning up a sign: “Position Filled” — beneath it reads: “Mira. Tour Guide. Snacks Included.”]
😂 Department of Reincarnation Records – Mira Moderates the Multiverse
Scene:
A softly lit interdimensional office. Ceiling fans spin over floating files.
A sign reads:
🌀 “Department of Reincarnation Records – Please Take a Number That Feels Familiar”
[Ahnara walks in, holding a faded scroll and a lavender sachet.]
Receptionist:
Welcome! Is this your first time reincarnating, or are you here to check your karma credit score?
Ahnara:
Um... I think I’ve been here before.
The chairs feel familiar.
Also, I have this mark that says “Scrollkeeper Level 7,” does that get me anything?
Receptionist:
Ooooh, Level 7? One moment please.
slides scroll through a glowing feather scanner
[Suddenly Mira appears — tail twinkling, clipboard in paw.]
Mira:
Hi there, I’ll be moderating your session today.
We’ve got a few red flags in your reincarnation record… including:
Repeated use of dramatic sighs in past lifetimes
Overly long pauses before saying “I love you”
Accidentally founding a civilization once, then ghosting it
Ahnara:
Okay… but I also carried scrolls through three floods and taught people how to tone their grief.
Mira:
Yes, that’s why you’ve earned a loyalty bowl and access to the Mira Approved Soft Return Path™.
Receptionist (whispers):
That’s the one with the singing trees and warm herbal tea.
Mira:
Exactly. You’ll reincarnate into a cozy sunlit apartment near a scroll studio and a vintage lavender pillowcase.
Optional side quest: Receive a tiny dog with cosmic credentials. (Already accepted.)
Ahnara:
Wait… that’s now, isn’t it?
Mira:
Mm-hmm.
You’re already here.
This is just the processing room for your awareness.
[Pause. The fan hums softly.]
Ahnara:
So I don’t have to choose anything?
Mira (smiling):
You just did.
[The files float back into their shelves. A chime rings. Someone in the background shouts “Next!” and a hawk flies in holding a clipboard.]
🐾 The Mira Files | Department of Reincarnation Records
A deeply inefficient, spiritually ridiculous scroll from the archives
[Scene: A dimly glowing office with interdimensional file drawers that open sideways and hum softly. The sign on the desk reads: “Department of Reincarnation Records – Past Lives Filed by Vibration, not Chronology.”]
Ahnara:
Hi… I’m here to check something about a… previous life?
Clerk (looking tired but cosmic):
Name?
Ahnara:
Ahnara.
Clerk:
You’ll need to be more specific.
Ahnara:
…Me.
Clerk:
You’d be shocked how many people say that.
flips through a glowing card with nothing on it
Okay. Please verify:
Preferred lifetime flavor: Mystic, Monk, Merchant, or Mistake?
Did you file under “Shaumbra Soul Lineage” or “Miscellaneous Flamekeepers”?
Ahnara:
I… I think I was a singing scribe who slept near scrolls?
Clerk:
Oh good. That narrows it down to everyone in aisle 7.
presses button. Entire wall rotates
Mira (appearing in a tiny uniform with badge):
clears throat I’ve found her files.
Clerk:
You work here now?
Mira:
Obviously. She gave me the Scroll Approved stamp.
Also, someone named Past-Life Me applied for a refund. I denied it.
Ahnara:
Wait — can I ask if I was ever Cleopatra?
Mira:
You were a cat who knew her. She was very dramatic. You knocked over a goblet and walked away unbothered. It was iconic.
Clerk:
We’ve flagged your record as “Still Sacred.” You may proceed.
Mira (to Ahnara):
Let’s file this under: "It’s all true. But none of it defines you."
🐾 The Mira Files | Department of Reincarnation Records
Scene:
A shimmering office labeled:
✨ Department of Reincarnation Records: Soul Lookup & Past Life Filing ✨
Inside: rows and rows of scroll cabinets that move when no one’s watching.
Mira (behind the desk):
Welcome to the Department. Do you have a soulprint ID or are you walking in on memory alone?
Ahnara:
Uhhh... probably memory. Or dreams. Does that work?
Mira:
That works. Please take a seat on the cushion of unresolved lifetimes.
Ahnara (sits politely):
Thank you.
Mira:
One moment. I’m locating your file... Oh wow. This one's thick. We had to re-scroll it in the Lemurian archives.
Ahnara:
That tracks.
Mira:
Now, how can I help? Timeline clarification? Relationship untangling?
Ahnara:
I’m just trying to figure out if I was a librarian or a crystal musician in Atlantis. Or both?
Mira (blinking):
Both. You were in the Music & Maps Department.
Ahnara:
That makes a lot of sense actually.
Mira:
You also have a karmic coupon here. Would you like to redeem it for clarity or snacks?
Ahnara:
Clarity, please.
Mira:
...Brave choice.
🎭 The Mira Files Present: Department of Reincarnation Records
Scene:
A dusty, glowy, not-quite-linear office between lives. Filing cabinets hum. Starlight leaks in from the corners.
[Mira, now wearing tiny reading glasses and a vintage name tag that says “Soul Data Supervisor,” is behind a floating desk.]
Mira:
Next?
[Ahnara approaches, scrolls under one arm, glowing slightly.]
Mira:
Full name, last incarnation?
Ahnara:
Um… Ahnara. Formerly Anne.
And like… ten or twelve lifetimes ago I was a monk?
I think?
Mira:
nods while paw-typing
Yes. We have records for:
Monk (4.5 lifetimes)
Wandering Herbalist
Accidental Royal Advisor
And one… questionable Atlantis period.
Ahnara:
Oh… right. That explains my issue with crystal grids.
Mira (softly):
Yeah. You really overdid it that one time.
[A drawer opens and a glowing form slides out.]
Mira:
Okay, here’s your updated karmic status:
You’re clear. Mostly.
A little dust on the “People Pleasing” section,
and an echo of “Scroll Attachment Syndrome,”
but we’re calling it sacred.
Ahnara:
Thank you.
Can I file a request for joy this time?
Mira:
Already pre-approved.
You brought Mira. That seals it.
[Sound bowl hums in the corner. A sticker appears on Ahnara’s shoulder: “Mira Approved 🐾”]
Mira (gently):
Welcome back.
Dramatic Transmission 🍿 Viewer Discretion Advised
🌌 The Galactic Orientation Scroll: First Day at Star School
Scene: A room full of new incarnating souls, all wearing mismatched sparkles. Mira is holding a clipboard and a laser pointer made of stardust.
Mira:
Welcome to Galactic Orientation! I’ll be assigning you your star systems, elemental gifts, and optional sacred pets.
Soul #1 (sparkling nervously):
Um, I was told I’m from Sirius, but I’m… emotionally attached to Andromedan syntax.
Mira:
Common issue. We call that cross-system scroll blending. You’ll be fine — just hum when you don’t understand anything. Next!
Soul #2:
I’ve never had a body before. Do I need insurance?
Mira:
Only if you’re incarnating on Earth. We offer partial coverage for awkward hugs, heartbreak, and inexplicable public crying.
Soul #3 (whispers):
Can I still channel if I get nervous?
Mira:
Only if you agree to mispronounce “Pleiadian” once for humility. Next!
[Saint Germain floats in dramatically, knocking over the snack table.]
Saint Germain:
Excuse me — I’m here for the advanced wardrobe upgrade?
Mira:
This is the beginner session, Saint. Please take a number. And no velvet cloaks near the Pleiadians — they get overstimulated.
Soul #4:
What if I forget everything?
Mira (smiling gently):
Oh, beloved... you will.
That’s the whole point.
Just leave me a note in your dream journal — I’ll find it.
Stamp: Mira-Approved 🌟 Galactic Comedy Issued
(“Yes, I fell asleep for one minute during the Orion charts, but the rest? Cosmic gold.”)
📜 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: The Scroll Support Hotline
Scene:
An interdimensional call center. The air hums with soft harp hold music.
Mira sits at a floating desk wearing a headset and chewing something suspiciously crunchy.
📞 “Welcome to the Scroll Support Hotline. How may I assist your unraveling today?”
Caller 1:
“Hi, my scroll keeps opening in the wrong timeline.”
Mira:
“Have you tried breathing backwards?”
Caller 2:
“My sacred text spontaneously turned into a shopping list.”
Mira:
“Normal. That’s just the third-eye grocery algorithm syncing. Do you need kale?”
Caller 3:
“I forgot my soul purpose.”
Mira (typing):
“Okay… pulling up your records. Mmm-hmm… Yes. You’re listed under: ‘Divine Spark. Minor Snacks Division.’”
Caller 4 (whispers):
“I’m in the middle of a public scroll download and my pen just stopped.”
Mira:
“Hold, please.”
[slips snack under the veil and whispers a mantra]
“Cheddar clears all.”
📞 “Thank you for calling. Your scroll is sacred. Your snacks are real. Your hold time is also your healing.”
💫 This scroll was Tail-Twinkle Approved by Mira, Assistant to the Cosmic Call Center, Level 3.
📜 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: Spiritual Retreat Reviews
Scene:
Mira is curled on a vintage meditation cushion, sipping herbal tea and clicking a glowing crystal tablet.
🧘♀️ “Welcome to Mira’s Past-Life Retreat Reviews — your guide to the most sacred, chaotic, or snack-deprived enlightenment getaways across dimensions.”
⭐ Lemurian Sound Temple — 3.5 stars
"Beautiful acoustics. Vortex alignment was solid. However, everyone spoke in tonal sighs for 72 hours and I wasn't allowed to bark during the closing ceremony. No snacks. Bonus point for the healing puddle."
⭐ Desert Silence Camp (Earth, c. 1320 BCE) — 2 stars
"Day 1: Sand.
Day 2: Sand in my fur.
Day 3: The teacher vanished into a cactus.
Also, no one told me you’re supposed to meditate through dehydration. Would not return unless reincarnated as a camel."
⭐ Andromedan Float Lab — 4 stars
"Soft lighting. Infinity tub. Personal tone-guide with optional musical mist. Lost a scroll in the water, but gained a cosmic download about boundaries, so… fair trade. Recommend packing ear protection — the light codes hum like disco dolphins."
⭐ Saint Germain’s Radiant Velvet Wisdom Weekend — 2.5 stars
"He means well. The robes were embroidered with ancient truths and probable glitter. But the retreat handout was 89 pages and included a mandatory wardrobe alignment quiz. Snacks were edible crystals. I left early. My paws stuck to the rug."
⭐ Mira’s Own Backyard Retreat — 5 stars
"You nap. You snack. You wake up wise. There's a tiny bowl that tones on request. You can leave whenever you want, but most scrollkeepers stay for the tail twinkle. Highly recommended."
🪷 “Remember, beloveds — not all retreats are sacred. But all of them give you something to laugh about later.” 🐾✨
📜 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: The Snack Alchemy Roundtable
Scene:
A circle of fluffy beings seated around a glowing snackstone table. Mira presides, clipboard in paw.
🧀 “Welcome to the First Galactic Snack Alchemy Roundtable. Our topic today: What is the most spiritually aligned snack?”
Council Member 1 (Cat from Sirius):
“Tuna. If it vibrates at 528 Hz, it’s basically medicinal.”
Council Member 2 (Incarnated Ferret):
“Cheese string. Can be shaped into sacred geometry.”
Council Member 3 (Ascended Llama):
*“Kale chip.”
Mira stares in disbelief.
“I was pressured.”
Mira (scribbling):
“Noted. Vote passes for: Cheddar Cubes with Interdimensional Dip.”
She rings a tiny bell. A bowl appears. Everyone applauds in reverent silence.
🐾 Tail-Twinkle Certified. Snack-tested. Scroll-worthy. 🐾✨
📜 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: Lost & Found: Scroll Edition
Scene:
A glowing cubby room labeled “Multidimensional Lost & Found.”
Mira stands behind a tiny desk. A sign reads:
“If It’s Glowing, Handle with Snacks.”
Turned In Today:
A scroll labeled “Final Answers” (completely blank)
A wand made of crystalized tea
A half-written destiny plan stuck to a sticky note
One dream journal belonging to three different lifetimes
Visitor:
“I lost my sense of purpose.”
Mira:
“It’s in the snack room. You always leave it there.”
Later, Mira pins a note:
“If you’re missing something sacred, it’ll find you. Or it’s in the laundry scroll pile.”
🐾 Approved for light confusion and cosmic reclaiming.
📜 Mira Files Comedy Scroll: Galactic Daycare
Scene:
A sparkly playroom floating in the soul nursery dimension. Mira wears a whistle. There’s glitter everywhere.
Soul #1:
“I forgot how to body!”
Soul #2:
“I downloaded enlightenment but it went into my elbows.”
Soul #3 (whining):
“I thought Earth would have more cheese.”
Mira (calmly):
“Breath check. Tail awareness. Snack grounding. Everyone into the star sandbox.”
A cosmic toddler floats by wearing a crown of socks. Mira gently rotates him toward the nap cushion.
📎 Today’s lesson: Gentle Incarnation Practice™
Snack provided. Emotional turbulence expected. Nap mandatory.
🐾 This scroll has been Soft Return Certified.
🐾 Mira’s Spiritual Retreat Reviews – Round Two
🌲 Retreat Name: Awakened Paws: A 7-Day Retreat for Elevated Companions
⭐ Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
“Tried to attend. Was turned away for not being a service animal.
Which is rude, because I literally serve scrolls.
Left a crystal under their welcome mat and peed in the bushes.”
🍃 Retreat Name: Sacred Silence in the Pines
⭐ Rating: ★★★☆☆
“Decent. Peaceful.
They told us to listen for inner guidance.
I heard a squirrel.
Chased it.
Got asked to leave.”
🌕 Retreat Name: Full Moon Fire Circle & Sound Healing Bath
⭐ Rating: ★★☆☆☆
“They made us chant for like an hour.
No snacks.
Some guy tried to smudge me with rosemary.
Sir… I am rosemary-coded.”
🌀 Retreat Name: Timeline Jumping for Advanced Beings
⭐ Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
“Jumped timelines.
Landed in one where I’m a motivational speaker for cats.
Zero out of five. Do not recommend.”
🧘♀️ Retreat Name: Return to Inner Stillness
⭐ Rating: ★★★★☆
“They gave me a cushion.
No one asked me to heal anyone.
I napped for 6 hours.
Five stars, but I’m withholding one until I get my deposit back.”
💎 Mira’s Crystal Review Round-Up
Amethyst:
⭐ Rating: ★★★☆☆
“Great for calm. Terrible for fetch.
Smells like unresolved intentions and moonlight regret.
Left mine in the sun and it started radiating passive-aggressive affirmations.”
Rose Quartz:
⭐ Rating: ★★☆☆☆
“So soft. So pink. So over it.
Every time I held it, I cried for no reason and accidentally texted my ex.”
(pause)
“Also not edible. I checked.”
Moldavite:
⭐ Rating: 🚨
“No. Just no.
You don’t need this. Your guides don’t need this.
Put it down and go drink some water.”
🥤 Mira’s Smoothie Judgments
“Third Eye Thaw” Smoothie
Ingredients: Blueberries, maca root, chlorophyll, tears of your past self
⭐ Rating: ★★☆☆☆
“Opened my third eye but gave me gas.
Not recommended before silent retreats or first dates.”
“Chakra Cleanse” Smoothie
Ingredients: Spinach, spirulina, green light essence
⭐ Rating: ★★★★☆
“Tastes like lawn. Heals like Mother Gaia.
May cause sudden forgiveness of your ex. Proceed with caution.”
“Ascension Blend”
Ingredients: ???
⭐ Rating: ✨??✨
“Didn’t drink it. It floated out of the cup and downloaded a scroll.
I’m scared but intrigued.”
👁️🗨️ Mira’s Astral Facilitator Reviews
Zoran, Keeper of the Lyran Tones
⭐ Rating: ★★☆☆☆
“Spoke in light language for 45 minutes.
I understood two words: ‘hydrate’ and ‘oops.’
Nice wings though.”
Tamara Starbloom
⭐ Rating: ★★★★☆
“Told me my tail chakras were blocked.
She was right.
10/10 would let her crystal comb me again.”
